#exposure therapy
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slut4thebroken · 2 years ago
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Exposure Therapy Masterlist
Pairing | Jonathan Crane × reader
Summary | Your therapist tries a new method of treatment to help you overcome your fears.
Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, rape, non con, dub con, oral, p in v sex, fingering, fear play, crying, rape (again. I'm really emphasizing this lol), breeding, unprotected sex, involuntary admission to asylum, scarecrow’s fear toxin, I’ll add more on each chapter.
Words | So far 49.1k
Notes | This is rape. Just straight up. If you’re not going to like it, don’t read it. Final warning.
Ao3 link | <3
Main masterlist
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Prologue
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Pt. 4
Pt. 5
Pt. 6
Pt. 7
Pt. 8
Pt. 9
Pt. 10
Pt. 11
Pt. 12
Pt. 13
Pt. 14
Pt. 15
?
Epilogue
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pinyeti · 10 months ago
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sanji: *walking in to a room* sorry I’m late I was... doing things.
*sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
zoro: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS
(haha oh wait did this bring back traumatic memories for zoro?)
#exposure therapy
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ayyy-imma-ninja · 3 months ago
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Forces SK!Sun to hangout with rodents as exposure therapy
Cmon sunshine, it's okay, Capybara won't hurt you I promise
If he does ever go to therapy, there will definitely be some exposure therapy involved!
I had actually spent some time thinking about this way back when: starting off maybe with rat/mice plushies or toys placed around before working his way up to holding them, looking at pictures, watching videos, etc.
Baby steps!
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willowcrowned · 7 months ago
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this is entirely anecdotal, but my recent firsthand experience getting over a snake phobia has basically only confirmed that exposure therapy doesn't work the way people want it to and forcing people to do things that terrify them "for their own good" is just a dick move
the only way to really get over a fear is to stop reinforcing the fear response. and the only way to do THAT is to interact with the fear trigger in a way that doesn't make you scared.
picking up snakes when it makes you so terrified you want to vomit just makes it harder to pick them up next time. hanging out in a room with snakes behind glass where you feel safe makes it easier to come in the next day and look at them again. it's just basic conditioning
bonus snake pic beneath the cut
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the-barefoot-hatter · 2 months ago
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Relationships:
Bill Cipher & Stan Pines
Bill Cipher/Ford Pines (Implied)
Summary:
Stan swipes Ford’s Theraprism visitor pass for the lolz. Then for concern. Then to play Othello. AKA Bill rages so hard he has an aneurysm. Then he plays board games.
Notes:
Othello, also known as Reversi, is a strategic board game for two using disc-like gaming pieces that have a black and a white side. Each player selects a color to use throughout the game. The object is to fill the board and flip your opponent's pieces to match your color. The black player has the first move. Let's begin.
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somekindofsentience · 3 months ago
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inspired by @omoriboii misinterpreting exposure therapy as a concept
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nemo-draco · 4 months ago
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Final redux of thoughts for @radicalredrasp 's OCs in the Friendly Globetrotter AU, them coming back at some point post movie but before some major character development and healing. Dark not realizing just how much he's changed over the years, Fonce meanwhile is just, what the hell happened to this kid, planet's looking relatively intact, why's he look so tired?!
Also Fonce potentially tricking Dark into getting a nap or two. Not that Dark’s complaining (much), he doesn't often get piggyback rides.
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brytning · 2 years ago
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The idea behind exposure therapy is to disrupt the fear-avoidance cycle. Feel afraid of something -> avoid it -> feel better in the short term (but worse in the long term). Facing your fears in baby steps is supposed to help reduce anxiety by teaching you that you can handle stress and discomfort, gradually a little more at a time. It's not always practical or possible to practice facing fears head-on every day, so these visualization exercises at home have been helpful for me to keep working on those skills. Let me know if you try this and it's helpful for you!
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tripled0531 · 2 years ago
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Exposure Therapy with Error and CC (sorry if I handled it wrong, I’m still learning about these kinds of stuff)
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Bonus:
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slut4thebroken · 1 year ago
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Exposure Therapy pt. 9
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jonathan Crane × reader
Summary | Dr. Crane finally gives you a reward.
Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding, kissing, grinding, face sitting, 69, finger fucking, praise, degradation, consensual sex, cockwarming?, this is as close as he’ll get in this fic to being submissive lmao.
Words | 3k
Notes | Kinky smut will be coming up in either chapter 10 or 11😏
Ao3 link | <3
Fic Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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Part 8
When you woke up, it took a moment for you to remember where you were, but the second your gaze settled on the couch you were laying on, your stomach dropped. You had cried to him— cried on him. The thought made you want to crawl into a hole from embarrassment, but you tried to ignore it. 
You could see now that he dressed you while you slept in the clothes you brought from his place and when you looked over at him, he was fully dressed in a suit, bent over the desk, completely focused on something. It didn’t seem like you moved enough to alert him that you were awake so you stayed still, trying to come up with something to say. Should you apologize? Pretend nothing happened? Make a self deprecating joke about it?
“I know you’re awake. I can practically hear you overthinking from here.” He said suddenly. 
“Sorry…” You muttered, deciding to sit up on the couch now. Picking at your cuticles, you watched him anxiously, waiting. Should you go to him? He hasn’t looked up from his work yet… Maybe he’s just waiting for you to walk over?
“Um, I- I’m sorry… for my behavior.” You forced the words out. “I don’t know what came over me.” He turned to face you, but after staring at you for a moment, decided to walk over. You stiffened as he approached you— were you going to be punished? Yelled at again? He sat down next to you, but still gave you enough space so you didn’t feel uncomfortable. 
“There is no need to apologize. I pushed you to that state so I cannot fault you for any of your actions.” He said, tone neutral. 
“I still shouldn’t have,” 
“No. You are allowed to have emotions.”
“I know, but- I made you uncomfortable.” You argued weakly.
“I am the only reason you acted like that in the first place. There is no need to apologize.”
“Okay… So things are fine?” You asked tentatively, scared of his answer. 
“Do not expect to do it again under any other circumstance.” His tone wasn’t mean, but rather he was just setting a boundary. You couldn’t help but notice that he said “under any other circumstance,” not just “any circumstance.”
“That didn’t answer my question.” You said with a small smile that he almost returned. 
“Yes.” 
“And you’re not mad that I made you change what you were going to do again?” 
“You hardly made me do anything.” He scoffed. 
“Okay… Good.” You said awkwardly, kind of feeling like you disappointed him by not being able to take the punishment. You also still felt bad for making him uncomfortable— for crying on him and laying on his chest. Your behavior made him call you a fucking pet name for christs sake. 
“Y-you… You called me-“ 
“Anything I said was to soothe you.” He said, suddenly colder than before. 
“So you weren’t really proud of me?” You asked quietly, making him sigh. 
“You took the punishment adequately.” 
“Oh.” You replied meekly, looking at your lap. You didn’t like the way he revoked his praise and affection so easily. He let out another quiet sigh, but you didn’t look up at him yet.  
“Your performance was… satisfactory.” It sounded like he had to force the words out. “Anything I said at the time was genuine, but do not expect to hear it again.” You looked up at him, but he couldn’t meet your gaze. 
“Thanks.” You muttered, giving him a small smile when he finally looked at you. “I liked when you called me that.” You said tentatively, carefully studying his reaction. 
“Do not get used to such affections.” 
“Okay… But if you ever decide you want to keep calling me that, I’m okay with it.” You shrugged and he narrowed his eyes. 
“I am not going to call you some silly name.” It felt like you were being reprimanded for requesting something childish. 
“I like the silly name. You don’t call anyone else by a silly name, do you?”
“Of course not.” He scoffed, almost offended. 
“Good. Just me then.”
“No, not you either.” He sighed, getting frustrated with your lack of acceptance with his answer. You pouted, giving him puppy dog eyes, hoping you didn’t look like a fool. “Stop that.” It seemed like the face was working though. 
“Please?”
“No.”
“Just once?” 
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“I will after you say it.” You said teasingly, giving him a small smile. 
“You are truly insufferable…” You waited eagerly, practically vibrating in anticipation. “Little one.” He muttered, looking away from you when your smile turned into a full blown grin. 
“It doesn’t count if I can’t hear you.”
“You’re pushing your luck.” He warned, but it almost seemed like he was teasing you back rather than giving you a genuine warning. 
“Please?” You pouted again, deciding to crawl onto his lap and straddle his legs, placing your arms on his shoulders as his hands settled on your hips. 
“Remind me why I brought you here?” He asked, annoyed. But not in a genuine way, in an almost playful way. 
“Because I make you come and I’m stupid enough to go to your place in broad daylight for you.”
“I suppose that’s true. I guess I do have a brave, eager pet. Wouldn’t you agree?” You nodded, eyes wide and breath caught in your throat from the new name. “Lost for words, little one?” He asked, tilting his head and rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. You let out a needy whine as you fisted his suit jacket and rolled your hips forward against his crotch. 
“Can- can I call you something too?” You asked, already breathless from the small amount of pleasure. 
“What did you have in mind?” 
“Your name?”
“Go ahead— try it out.” It took you a moment to register that he didn’t deny you like you thought he would. 
“Jonathan.” You whispered. 
“It doesn’t count if I can’t hear you.” He said teasingly. 
“Jonathan.” You whined, louder this time. 
“What do you think?” You hummed in thought. Something about the name just felt a little off. Maybe it was because it’s his full name rather than a nickname. 
“Jon.” You muttered to yourself. “Does anyone call you Jon?”
“Everyone refers to me as Dr. Crane or Scarecrow.” 
“Do you like “Jon?’”
“It is tolerable.” 
“Oh…” You said, visibly deflating in his lap. “I don’t have to if you don’t like it.” 
“I do not tolerate many things— that was a positive statement.” He quickly corrected himself, still making sure to keep his tone neutral though. 
“Oh. Do you tolerate me?” You asked, perking up a little again. 
“That is a foolish question that you already know the answer to.” 
“I know… I just like hearing it.” He sighed and for a moment you thought he wasn’t going to respond. 
“Yes, I tolerate you, little one.” A blush creeped up on your cheeks as you gave him a shy smile. “Satisfied?” You nodded, biting your lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. 
“Can I come today?” His brows shot up and you swore he was about to laugh.
“Someone’s getting bold.” 
“You didn’t let me last time.” You frowned. He hummed in thought and continued dragging his hands up and down your thighs, teasing you. 
“I suppose since you did such a good job taking your punishment, as well as staying quiet when we were in my office, you’re long overdue for a treat. Don’t you think?” 
“Yes please.” You said through a breath as you nodded in agreement. Snaking his hands behind you, he grabbed your ass to roughly push your hips against him, starting a slow, steady rhythm of grinding. 
“Whatever you want. Go ahead.” He said, making you falter as you stared at him in confusion. 
“What?” 
“Take whatever you want.” He explained, still leaving you dumbstruck. 
“Anything?” 
“Within reason.” He said teasingly. Flattening your palms on his chest, you slid them down before slowly dragging them back up, thinking. 
“Can I kiss you?” 
“There’s no need to ask. Take whatever you need.” He said softly, eyes fluttering down to your lips. Grabbing his tie, you gently pulled him forward into a kiss. His hands moved back to your hips, not gripping anymore, just holding you as you continued grinding against his crotch. You let out a low moan from the friction and brought your free hand up to pull his hair, making him groan in response. When you eventually grew too impatient, you whined and pulled back. 
“Please.”
“If you want something, just take it, little one.” He whispered, making you whine even louder. Suddenly getting up, he eyed you curiously as you took off your pants and underwear, then hesitantly laid him down on the couch. You moved slowly, giving him a chance to protest or change his mind. When he didn’t, you slowly kneeled over his chest, watching his eyes darken as he focused on your cunt. You waited again for him to tell you to get off, but he never did. So you shuffled forward even more, then tentatively lowered yourself onto his mouth. He dove in eagerly, lapping up your arousal and circling your clit with his tongue to tease you. 
When you suddenly lifted off of him, he let out a grunt of displeasure, making your cheeks heat up. But you wanted to do something more than just this. You took off your shirt then moved to the floor and started working on taking off his belt, asking for assistance on the upper half of his body. Once he was as bare as you— which you still weren’t used to yet— you climbed over him again, this time facing the other direction. He cursed under his breath as you laid down, your face only inches from his cock. 
The second you lowered yourself onto his mouth, his hands wrapped around your thighs, not letting you move away again. You whimpered at the sudden intense pleasure and brought your hand up to start stroking his length, teasing him. When his hips bucked up, you placed your forearm over his upper thigh and put some of your weight on it to hold him down. He growled against your cunt and dug his nails into your thighs, making your gasp, then chuckle as you leaned down to suck the tip in your mouth. 
You liked having this power over him. Deciding how much you wanted to tease him- torture him… it was addictive. You wanted to make him beg and whine and moan, so desperate for you that he loses all control. 
Hollowing your cheeks, you moved farther down his length, only pulling back up when the tip met the back of your mouth. The movements of his mouth grew sloppy, unable to focus with the stimulation on his cock, but it didn’t matter. You were practically grinding against his face anyway. 
When he pushed a finger in your drooling hole, you let out a muffled moan, not expecting it. In retaliation, you moved your hand to cup his balls, gently playing with them until his hips bucked and he moaned against your heat. Another finger was pushing inside, stretching you open and curling against your walls to emit even more arousal. 
To reward him, you decided to take him all the way down for as long as you could force yourself to stay there. He let out a choked moan at the tightness of your throat and the hand holding your thigh squeezed again. You did your best to breathe through your nose and relax, but after another few seconds, you couldn’t control your gag reflex anymore and had to pull off of him. 
“Baby— I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.” He muttered against your clit and your hips jerked at his words. 
“Neither am I if you keep calling me that.” You whined. When you lifted yourself off of him again, he let out a grunt of disapproval, trying to grab your hips to pull you back. “Fuck me.” You said through a breath, making him instantly release your hips to sit up. When you got a good look at his face, you almost moaned at the sight. His lips and chin were slick with your arousal and his spit, and his glasses were fogged up enough that he had to take them off and set them on the floor to continue.  
“How do you want it?” You bit your lip in thought. 
“Dealer's choice.” You finally replied and it seemed like he was about to protest, but decided against it. Grabbing a cushion from the back of the couch, he placed it down, then maneuvered you so your hips were over it as you laid on your stomach. He leaned over you, breath fanning against your neck as he lined up, then placed a soft kiss behind your ear. 
“Ready?” He whispered. 
“Please.” You didn’t have to tell him again before he was breaching your hole, making you whimper at how fucking full you felt in this position with your legs together. “Jesus-“ You choked out as he stilled inside you, buried as far as your cunt would allow. 
“Fuck me, Jon.” You said breathlessly and he cursed under his breath, but obeyed. He slid out slowly, still giving you a chance to adjust, then pushed back in just as slow. 
“God- You feel so good.” He moaned, forehead resting on your shoulder blade. “So fucking warm and wet, and a perfect fit for my cock, aren’t you?” You nodded as you scrambled for purchase when his thrusts sped up. “Like my own custom made fuck doll, huh, baby?” 
“Oh god yes.” You sobbed out, already feeling close from hearing that pet name again. He let out a low chuckle when he felt your walls fluttering desperately around his length. 
“Close already? Why’s that?” You couldn’t get a response out through your moans, let alone think of one in the first place. “Is it cause you like it when I pin you down like this? Force my cock in your tight little cunt and fuck you like a cheap whore. Is that it?” You let out another sob that turned into a vulgar moan when he suddenly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back. With his lips brushing your ear, he whispered, “Or maybe it’s when I call you baby. Is that what’s getting you so hot and bothered?” You did your best to nod with his grip in your hair, but he wasn’t satisfied. 
“C’mon, use your big girl words. I know you can.” He cooed, making your cunt pulse around him. 
“Jon,” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut as your mouth opened in a silent moan. “Please make me come- I’m so close, Jon, I need it.” You whimpered. He suddenly pulled out, making you whine loudly. He ignored your protest though and flipped you over, hooking your legs over his hips as he leaned back down and slid inside again. 
“Keep your eyes on me when you come, do you understand?” You nodded eagerly and he continued pushing in and out, getting deep enough that you knew you’d be able to see his cock bulging your stomach.  
“God- you look so pretty like this.” He whispered, eyes rapidly trailing over your face. You let out a low whine, feeling your face heat up. 
“Say my name.” The request was so quiet that you thought you misheard him. “Say it.” Not a request— a plea. 
“Jon,” You whispered, moving your hands to pull on his hair as your eyes fluttered to his lips. “Please kiss me.” He obeyed eagerly and you moaned into his mouth from the intensity of it— of everything really. A hand on your clit made you jolt with a surprised sound that he swallowed eagerly. 
“Oh god- Please can I come?” You whined, barely able to get the words out since he wouldn’t break the kiss to let you speak. “Please, Jon.” He pulled back, eyes squeezed shut as he panted, never stopping the movement of his hips or fingers. 
“Go ahead, baby,” He whispered as his eyes fluttered open to look at you. “Come for me- but remember what I said.” What you would’ve originally thought was a warning, was actually just a reminder— the closest he would ever get to saying please. 
Your orgasm crashed over you suddenly and you did your best to keep your eyes open through the pleasure. He stared down at you with furrowed brows and slightly parted lips, letting some moans escape. 
“Please come.” You gasped out, orgasm just barely starting to fade. “Please, Jon.” His lips parted even wider and then he was squeezing his eyes shut, still trying to keep them open though. His hips stilled completely inside you, staying deep to make sure you took every last drop of his come. 
When his body finally relaxed and he rested his forehead on your chest, you played with his hair. Both of you were still panting, a little sweaty, and definitely come drunk, but he didn’t seem to care at all. He swiftly turned you both over as he moved the couch cushion back, his cock never leaving you. You let yourself lay down on his body, your cheek on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and one of his hands came up to pet your hair, the other rubbing up and down your back lightly. 
There was a nagging thought, deep in the back of your brain, that you were trying to ignore, but it was growing louder the longer you laid there. This felt too good to be true. Like you’re dreaming and going to wake up back in your cell again. 
“Jon?” You asked quietly. 
“Hm?”
You didn’t want this to be a dream. You wanted him to hold you again and again, let you fall asleep in his arms, have normal conversations about everything and nothing. But most of all, you wanted him to feel the same way. To long for you so hard that his chest aches at the thought of losing you, the way yours does. You wanted him to— 
“I-“ You had to stop yourself from saying the thought that just popped into your head because you were scared of how he’d react to such a deep confession. “I just…” 
“I know.” He whispered, heart beating faster and harder in his chest. “Me too.”
Part 10
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tv shows gave me paranoia when i was a kid but I did exposure therapy on myself lol even as a kid i knew it was helpful
Exposure therapy for the win.
Fun and random fact: I had a crippling fear of rollercoasters as a kid, but I was supposed to go on a school trip to a really big amusement park one year. My solution was to go to Knoebels and spend the entire day riding every single rollercoaster in the park, multiple times.
Now I'm a rollercoaster fiend who spent yesterday riding rollercoasters, who will be spending tomorrow riding rollercoasters, who is planning multiple trips to go ride MORE rollercoasters, who DESIGNS rollercoasters, and who will ramble about rollercoasters and carousels until the cows come home.
We love exposure therapy in this house.
Except sometimes it backfires and you spend all your savings on amusement parks.
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lovethatlaiduslow · 4 months ago
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Applying for the lgbtq literary grant at my school and feeling like them today
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ichtios · 7 months ago
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03.06.2024
I got back to exposures. I realized that I am ready now. I knew the concept for years, and tried it many times (as you know if you've followed this blog) but I wasn't ready, because I thought the stakes were high. I thought I had so much to loose if I failed. My train of thoughts (not really thoughts, as it was something almost unconscious, some deeply rooted beliefs) was like that: if I fail this it will mean that I don't deserve to be loved, because I can't be "normal" -> my boyfriend will get really tired of me and leave me/my ex-boyfriend will not get back to me -> I will be alone, completely, utterly alone -> which is unbearable and I'm gonna die.
If you make it short it sounds like that: if I fail -> I'm gonna die. Kinda pressure, eh? if I get into this bus, and then have anxiety attack -> I'm gonna die. Yeah, that would make someone really calm. Great way to not be anxious. 12/10 recommended.
So I tried but it was like 2 steps forward 3 steps back. As I already wrote somewhere here (I think) - fighting anxiety from the place of anxiety and fear is a lost battle.
It was in the end of January that I noticed something had shifted. I was no longer experiencing so much anxiety in situations when I would before. Then I realized it is because I have nothing to loose anymore. Nobody cares if I fail or not, if I die or not, if I succeed or be this fucked up way till I die. It is easier to play when the stakes are low, it is much less stressful.
But I still experience anxiety, not that severe, not in all of these little situations that I used to, but still. Because it became a reflex, my body learned it through years, it is habitual. And it is time to unlearn it. Rewire.
I finished working in school last Friday, so I decided I will start in June. And continue for three months. There is no more excuse that I don't have time, because rn I have all the time in the world (I still have lots of my own work, but I can decide when I do it and how much I do it, and I can prioritize exposures over work). The trick with exposures is that you have to to them literally every day. Whether you feel like it or not.
So last 2 days (June 1st and 2nd) I went on exposures, and right now I'm preparing to go for another one. I will post photos from them later because I know Y'all like to see Warsaw from time to time.
I don't really wanna go. Yesterdays exposure was already hard, and I cried through. But I need to at least show up no matter how it will turn out.
Sorry for butchering grammar all over this post, but I haven't been using English lately.
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 years ago
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Hi! I love your writing so much! My request is just more of Eddie's water exposure therapy! I'd love to see Robin and Steve help and see how things play out. If not, that's totally cool too! Thanks for sharing your writing in the first place!
THANK YOU!!! You know what is super funny is I was working on this when you sent the other request yesterday. I loved exploring more of this post, and I think maybe I could keep doing so if I have time someday. I hope you love it! - Mickala ❤️
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Eddie was committed to getting through this, he was.
It’s just that he hadn’t really thought about how fucking difficult it would be to have to do it with Nancy.
Nancy was strong-willed and badass and if Eddie was ever gonna be interested in women, it would be Nancy fuckin’ Wheeler.
But sometimes, like today, he needed someone soft. Someone who was okay with taking things slow.
She knew something was off the moment she walked in the door, but she didn’t comment on it until he was hovering by the sink in the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if I can do it today.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just not a good day.”
“Sometimes those are the days you need to push yourself most.”
“And sometimes I just need a break! We’ve been doing this for five days. I’m tired.”
He was tired. And he was frustrated. He had a setback one day three that he still hadn’t completely recovered from and he barely slept last night and Wayne forgot to save him the leftovers he wanted so it was just a shit day.
“What if I get Robin?”
“I don’t see how that will help.”
“Sometimes a small change can help. She already said she’d do whatever you need.”
“Does she realize I’m naked? I feel like she must not know I’m naked. I don’t even think she’s seen Steve naked, and they practically live up each others’ assholes.”
“Thanks for that image.” Nancy shook her head as if she could shake the image out and forget it was ever there. “So. Robin or me?”
“Robin.”
And despite Eddie being kind of convinced that Robin wouldn’t actually come, she did. And she brought him gummy bears as a reward.
Nancy didn’t give him rewards.
Maybe Robin should be in charge.
Nancy went over things with Robin again, explained that today was a full minute under the water, that he had to be fully submerged except for his head, and that he did have to be naked.
“Well. If I must see a dude’s junk, I guess I’m glad it’s yours.”
“Gee, thanks, Robin,” he said as he stripped.
If he thought too much about it, he’d lock himself in his room and just never shower again.
But Robin turned away as he stripped to give him some semblance of privacy and he was grateful.
Nancy waited in the hall, said she’d be there if they needed her, but would rather keep it to just one of them in the bathroom with Eddie.
Robin turned the water on.
“You like hot or warm?”
“Hot.”
“Good. Give it a minute.”
The water hitting the shower floor was apparently enough to have him losing his shit today. He tensed up and waited with a towel wrapped around him, watching as Robin kept testing the temperature of the water every ten seconds.
Finally, she smiled at him and nodded.
“Do you want me to talk or just count in my head?”
“Usually Nancy just counts out loud.”
“Does that help?”
“It doesn’t not help.”
“Would something else be better?”
“Uh. I guess try talking?”
“You got it.” Robin opened the bathroom door for a moment, said something, then closed the door again.
“Nancy’s got a kitchen timer ready to start when I knock on the door. You ready?”
“No, but I have to be.”
“I got all day.”
It did help to hear that. He knew, logically, no one would rush him, but sometimes he was worried that they’d give up on him if he took too long.
Like, he knew he was already pushing his luck just having them around for his everyday theatrics, so this was just icing on the cake.
But Robin didn’t make him feel like he had to worry about that and that already helped.
It’s not that Nancy rushed him, it’s just that she was a very straight to the point person. In or out. Shit or get off the pot.
Robin was the opposite in a lot of ways.
More of a, we’ll get there when we get there and we’ll stop to look at flowers on the way, kind of person.
She just watched as he stood by the shower, playing with his hair.
He took a deep breath, dropped the towel, and got in.
“Alright, good! You let me know when you’re in the water and I’ll knock and start chatting.”
Eddie could do this. He could.
So he did.
“In.”
He heard Robin knock as he clenched his teeth together and felt the water run down his shoulders and back.
Robin had picked the perfect temperature, not scalding, but hot enough to leave his skin pink. Just like he liked it.
“That’s how Steve likes his baths, which I tell him all the time is why he gets so lightheaded. You’re cooking yourselves. I’m realizing that I might be the emotional support bathing bestie. I sit with Steve when he has baths and now you with the shower. Is this all I’m good for?”
Eddie let out a strangled laugh.
It was helping, but he was still struggling to focus on anything except how stifling the water felt, how the steam building around him was starting to feel too much like fog and the drops were feeling too much like his own blood spattering on his body.
“Time?” He managed to croak out.
“Nance! Time?”
“20 seconds!”
“That’s not bad! Tell me your favorite Metallica song right now.”
He knew the answer. He opened his mouth to do it, but couldn’t say anything.
“Eddie? You okay?”
He tried to speak again, but it was just a whimper.
The water was too much.
He jumped out of the shower, nearly knocking Robin over in his escape.
He was shivering, though his skin was hot to the touch from the water, and Robin was already recovering and wrapping his towel around him.
Nancy was opening the door, worried eyes peeking around the corner.
“Listen to my voice, Eddie. Take in a deep breath. Slowly.”
It was easy to listen to Robin.
She didn’t hesitate to wrap him up in her arms, rubbing her hands up and down his back as he tried to breathe.
Nancy was standing in the doorway, not saying or doing anything, just a silent presence there to assist if needed.
He could feel Robin’s heart beating hard in her chest, so hard it felt like it was trying to jump into his chest.
But he was calming down now.
He pulled away and sat down on the floor, towel still loosely wrapped around him.
Robin shut off the shower, quickly joining him on the floor and waving Nancy away.
“You’re good at this.”
“Well, somebody has to be there for Steve when he’s having a bad day. I’ve gotten plenty of practice.”
“Is he this bad?”
“Oh, on his real bad days, he’s worse. And yes, you absolutely should hold that over him. Maybe then he’ll accept help from someone other than just me.”
He rested his head on her shoulder, smiling when she rested her head on his.
“You should have him come help.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why? Because you have a big stupid crush on him?”
“Why, yes, Robin. That’s exactly why.”
He knew she was rolling her eyes, but he didn’t care.
“You’re both so stupid, it gives me a stomach ache.”
Eddie didn’t think about what she said, just sat in silence as she started playing with his fingers.
“Want me to come back tomorrow?”
“Yeah, please.”
————
Robin came back for three days in a row, and Eddie managed to stay under the water until the timer went off every time.
He was scared to think about what would happen if he started to fail again.
But with Robin constantly talking his way through it, he couldn’t worry for long.
————
“Eddie.”
Oh no.
Robin’s voice was so scratchy, and dull, and not Robin.
She was sick.
Nancy wasn’t available today or tomorrow.
He couldn’t do this alone.
“It’s okay, Robs. I’ll…call Steve.”
“Good. Sorry again.”
She didn’t sound nearly as sorry as when he first answered the phone, but it wasn’t worth arguing about.
He paced the floor of his room for nearly ten minutes before he gave in and just dialed Steve’s number.
“Harrington residence, Steve speaking.”
“Oh, you have one of those homes. Gross.”
“Eds!”
“Hey, Stevie.”
Eddie knew his face was doing that stupid smile he only did for Steve, a combination of fond and content that he’d never been able to give anyone else.
“Everything good?”
“Well, kinda no?”
“What’s wrong?” Steve asked quickly, his tone changing from casual excitement to concern.
“You remember what Nancy told you about the uh…exposure therapy?”
“Yeah, how’s that going?”
Eddie sighed. Steve was so fucking nice all the time. It wasn’t fair.
“It’s not terrible. Robin’s helped for a few days. But uh.”
“What is it?”
“Robin’s sick and Nancy’s out of town. I can’t skip a day, especially not when I’ve been on a roll, ya know? So I was wondering if maybe, and you can say no I’ll do it alone if I have to, maybe you’d be willing to come play therapist?”
That wasn’t so hard. It was awkward, certainly, but not too bad.
“I’ll be right over,” Steve said quickly and hung up.
Eddie didn’t mean right this second necessarily, Jesus.
But if Steve wanted to help this badly, then who was he to stop him from rushing over?
And rush he did.
It wasn’t 15 minutes later that Steve was at his door.
“Where’s the fire, man?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind,” Eddie smiled at him. “Do you remember what Nancy said about all this?”
“Yeah. How long are you up to?”
“Minute and a half. Or I have to turn the water on and adjust the temperature myself and do a minute. But I don’t wanna try something new today, so minute and a half it is.”
Steve nodded along, but Eddie swore he looked nervous. Like he was hesitant to even be here. He needed to offer him an out.
“Listen, I can just wait. Skipping a day or two isn’t really gonna make a big difference in the long run.”
“No!” Steve suddenly shouted. “No. I want to help. I want to be here for you.”
“Oh,” Eddie looked down at his feet, hoping it would hide the blush on his cheeks. “Okay then.”
So he led Steve to the bathroom. He set the kitchen timer but didn’t start it yet.
Steve was standing by the shower, shifting his weight between his legs anxiously. He looked more nervous than Eddie even felt.
“Nancy and Robin usually turn the water on and make sure it’s hot for me. Robin said it’s like how you like it?”
“Got it.”
He turned to the faucets, adjusting them for a few seconds and then pulling back as he waited for the water to heat up.
“You can strip, I’ll turn around.”
“Oh. Okay. Sure.”
Eddie knew he sounded ridiculous.
You’ve taken showers before, idiot.
But the difference here was that Steve was about to be here to see him at his weakest, at least emotionally. And he’d be naked.
Going off of how much Nancy and Robin had to see of him, Steve would be getting an eyeful too.
“You okay?”
Eddie shook himself out of his thoughts.
“I’m okay. Sorry.”
He threw his shirt off and unbuttoned his pants before he could overthink it.
Steve had seen most of him when he was helping change his bandages after the bats snacked on him. It wasn’t a big deal.
Steve at least pretended to be paying more attention to the water and floor as he pulled his legs from his pants and slid his boxers off.
“Water’s good. You ready?”
Steve looked at his face, clearly avoiding any chance of seeing anything below the waist.
Probably locker room courtesy or something, though if you asked him, making eye contact was way more intimate than accidentally seeing someone else’s dick.
“Ready.”
Steve moved to the sink as he got in, probably grabbing the kitchen timer to start it the second he got under the water.
It took him a minute, the hot water hitting his toes gently.
But he took a deep breath, turned his back to the stream, and backed into the water.
“I’m in.”
The first part was getting easier to do, he’d admit that. It was easier to stay in the moment while the water first started hitting him, easier to speak for the first 15 or so seconds before he was completely soaked.
But then it was quiet. He couldn’t hear anything except the water beating down on him and the shower floor.
Steve wasn’t saying anything and Eddie didn’t know how to ask him to.
He didn’t want to sound needy, Steve was already giving up time out of his day to be here at all.
How long had it been? Probably not that long.
It felt like years.
The water was the perfect temperature, and that kind of helped him remember this was a shower, not the end of the fucking world.
The end of the world doesn’t care about your comfort.
Steve does though.
But after another ten or so seconds, the buzzing in his ears got louder, he could feel his body shaking as if the water had suddenly turned ice cold, and the thoughts rushing through his head were more memories he wished he could forget.
He still felt the water, but it wasn’t water anymore. It was blood and bats and doctor’s hands trying to just stop the bleeding.
And then he felt actual hands on him, a body against him pushing him so the water was barely touching him.
He took a gasping breath and collapsed against them.
Steve.
He was fully clothed, like he’d panicked and jumped in without thinking about it at all. He had his arms wrapped around Eddie tightly, not leaving an inch of space between them. He was muttering something, but Eddie couldn’t quite hear what it was.
He let himself be held, no longer in panic mode with his human shield protecting him from the water.
“How long?”
Steve was rubbing his back, spreading a new warmth against his skin and helping, always helping.
“One minute.”
Eddie sighed. He didn’t wanna tell Nancy that he failed today.
She wouldn’t make him feel bad intentionally, but she got this look on her face when he didn’t make it to the timer going off like she wasn’t sure he could get through it.
“You wanna get out?”
“Please.”
Steve pulled away so he could shut off the water and Eddie got a good look at him.
He was soaked, his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably, his hair matted down against his head.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I made the choice.”
He did, yeah. But he probably felt obligated to, and that’s not really making a choice, is it?
“Eds, look at me.”
He’d been looking at the floor, kind of hoping it would just swallow him up for good, but managed to pull his head up when Steve asked.
“I’ll always, always, make the choice to help you. Okay?”
Eddie bit back a sob as he nodded, and Steve pulled him against his chest again.
“You have no clue how much I wanna be here for you. When Nancy called, I practically begged to be here, did she tell you that? But she said it wouldn’t be helpful if I jumped in the moment you needed me.”
“Helped now.”
Steve squeezed his arms.
“Yeah. She won’t be happy with me. But you weren’t answering and when I looked in, it’s like you weren’t even here. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Eddie nodded. That lined up with what he’d been feeling, seeing.
“We should get out. You’re shivering.”
Steve guided him out of the shower and wrapped the towel he’d left hanging up around him, rubbing along his arms and back to help get him warmer faster.
Then he was taking off his shirt and removing his belt and Eddie’s brain couldn’t catch up.
“Uh.”
“Sorry, do you have some clothes I can borrow while I put these in the dryer?”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure.”
Steve smiled at him like he didn’t just break his brain in half.
He managed to walk to his bedroom, grab a shirt and sweatpants, and walk back to the bathroom with only a single thought running through his mind: he’s wearing my clothes.
“Thanks,” Steve said as Eddie wordlessly handed them over.
And then he realized he forgot boxers.
Steve would be wearing his sweatpants with nothing under them.
He knew the noise he let out was close to a squeak, like a fucking mouse or something, but he couldn’t hold it in. Steve didn’t acknowledge it, hopefully didn’t hear it at all, as he focused on getting his soaked jeans off his body.
Then his boxers came off.
Eddie really did his best not to look. He did. It would be so rude to stare.
It would be even more rude to say something.
So he did both.
“Jesus Christ, Steve. The girls weren’t kidding were they?”
Steve’s face was bright red, but he didn’t look up until he was pulling the sweatpants up his legs.
“I guess that depends what they were saying.”
Eddie was still standing with his towel wrapped around him, eyes wide at everything that had just happened.
“For one, that you’re pretty well-endowed. I thought they just lacked experience. Maybe I’m the one lacking experience. Maybe you’re just huge.”
Steve was smirking at him, the confidence of the king coming back as he listened to Eddie.
“That so?”
“God, yeah. I’m never gonna be able to be with anyone again after seeing that.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
Steve was stepping into his space now, still shirtless, still smirking.
“I mean, look at you. How could I ever be satisfied with someone else inside me when I could have that?”
Oh. Wait. No. He wasn’t supposed to be saying this out loud.
Steve’s hands were on his hips, though.
Gripping him tight, like he had no intention of letting him go.
“You want that? With me?”
Well, might as well lay it all out there.
“I want everything with you. Anything you’ll give me.”
“Everything?” Steve was still smirking, that asshole. “So if I wanted to take you out on a date…”
“A date?”
“Yeah. To dinner or something.”
“We can’t go on a date, Steve. We’re two men in bumfuck Indiana. We’d be killed.”
“How about I make you dinner? My place. Tonight?”
“You’re fucking with me.”
“I’m not, but hopefully I will be,” he said with a wink.
“Steve. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. I’m like, kind of in love with you, full disclosure, and I’m not sure I can handle one date, a fuck, and then you never wanting to even talk to me again.”
Steve watched as he rambled, running his thumbs along Eddie’s hips like he was trying to keep him calm.
“Full disclosure, I’m kind of in love with you, too. I mean, I did just jump in a shower fully clothed to make sure you weren’t gonna hurt yourself. I’d do it every day if I had to.”
Eddie searched his face for any sign of a lie. Steve was easy to read, or at least he was to Eddie.
But Steve was giving him a fond smile, and moving in closer, and Eddie didn’t see any sign of a lie.
Steve’s hand cupped his jaw. He was looking at him like he was special, and Eddie wasn’t sure what to do with it.
And then Steve was��kissing him.
He dropped the towel. It was accidental, but he wasn’t going to interrupt any of this to pull it back up.
Steve was an intense kisser. He should’ve known.
He put everything he had into it. He kissed with his whole body, quite literally putting his back into it as he pushed Eddie against the wall.
But Eddie wasn’t doing this in his bathroom. Despite the fact that he was very obviously willing to, he wanted to have the date first.
He pulled away, but stayed in Steve’s arms. He wasn’t quite ready for complete separation.
“You’re making me dinner tonight?”
“I’m making you dinner tonight.”
“And it’s a date?”
“It’s a date.”
“It’s a date.”
————
Steve came every day after that, even on days when Robin or Nancy were already there.
He sometimes waited in the hall as backup, but usually he stayed in the bathroom and talked to Eddie, who’d managed to get up to three whole minutes in only a few weeks.
When he finally made it to five, Nancy handed it all over to Steve.
He started taking showers with Eddie. Washing his body and hair so he could have more positive thoughts.
By the end of the year, he was taking regular showers.
He still had moments where he panicked, of course. He still sometimes had to cut them short because of a specific memory.
He still sometimes went a few days without because he couldn’t build up the courage to get in.
But Steve was there. They all were.
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nemo-draco · 5 months ago
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Was thinking about how @radicalredrasp 's OCs would work in the Exposure Therapy/Friendly Globetrotter continuity where Light and Dark spawn on Earth and fall into their roles bringing night and day. Fonce brings Oscuro to this really cool, new little planet for some brotherly bonding...turns out the planet's developed enough to have its own entities hanging around. They proceed to hang out with babby Dark for a bit before heading back to the stars, Dark trying to follow but unfortunately he's a little less used to the rigors of space. And besides, he's needed on Earth. So, they persuade him to stay planetside, but promise to come back to visit.
Think Dark could exit the Earth’s atmosphere, but it would take some trial and error. Poor guy feels dizzy being away from his home, given that's what he's made for and geared towards.
And yep, they got his trust with candy. Barely a million and Dark’s already got a sweet tooth XD
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ghostlyschizophrenic · 15 days ago
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treatment for ocd is such bullshit what do you mean i have to sit with it??? and what do you mean that’s actually how that works??? i’ll try to distract myself or do other things but i can’t because my brain is on fire and apparently i have to be like well ill just sit in the flames until it goes out… and then it does. like a 45 minute youtube video about the history of the omegaverse wont do shit but sitting down for ten minutes to focus on my breathing and reality checking what i can and can’t control and having an inner mantra to focus on and accepting what is and isn’t possible is apparently the only way i can get to sleep after hours of rumination it’s bullshit i tell you absolute bullshit
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